In Celebration of Life
As I sit here at my desk on this hot and humid October morning in the southeast United States, I am not feeling very much like Halloween should be a week or so away.
Sure, the leaves had started to change colors a bit, and spooky decorations are up all around the neighborhood, the temperature doesn’t lend itself to getting very ‘into’ the season.
I’ve still got one more ghost story to tell yet this month, but before I do I wanted to take a moment to talk about another aspect of death. How we choose to remember/mourn those who have passed away.
I am not even going to pretend to know or fully understand all of the ways that people around the world observe the passing of a loved one or friend. Humans have been burying, burning, mummifying and using probably hundreds of other methods to honor the bodies of those that die for thousands of generations. Each has significance, each has a purpose. Some cultures mourn, some dance and sing, some eat, some perform complex rituals to help and aid the deceased on their journey into the after life.
Having said all of that, here’s a REALLY hard turn.
There are a myriad of reasons that I love my wife, some of which I may discuss some day. Today however I’ll be focusing on one particular thing. My wife is a firm believer in celebrating life, not mourning death.
To that end, whenever we lose someone close to our family, we do something to honor them and the life that they lived. It’s a way of remembering the good times we had together. A way to keep their memory alive in our hearts.
Sadly, in our 20+ years together, my little family has had several opportunities to do this. Below I’ve given some examples of things we did in celebration of life.
When my Grandpa Poke passed away, we celebrated his love of the St. Louise Cardinals baseball team. We bought several cardinal decorations, including an ornament for our Christmas tree. We continue to honor him in our household (those are his boots on the home page behind the lama).
In a similar vein, when my other grandfather passed away, we spent a day listening to his poems and music, and bought a cowboy boot Christmas ornament. A book about his life still sits prominently on our bookshelf.
When an uncle, who loved the Greatful Dead passed away, we bought a bunch of white shirts and tie-dyed them.
When a cousin passed we all got temporary tattoos.
For another passed cousin we went bowling.
We’ve planted trees/flowers. We’ve laughed at their old jokes. We’ve painted pictures. We’ve sat around a fire and sung their songs. We’ve shed happy tears remembering the good times and the bad. We revel in the time that we were granted with them, not in the what ifs and missed opportunities.
I’ve had a couple of people tell me this sounds callous. I mean really just a couple of people, like two. Most of my friends or work acquaintances like the idea of celebrating life. Some of them already do things just like this.
So this spooky season, we’ll watch some scary movies. We’ll peruse the pop-up Halloween stores. I’ll wish the weather would just get cooler. And in our house, we’ll continue to celebrate the lives well lived by near and dear family and friends.
Until the next time we read, take care.